Waiting to Be Loved: Expert Advice, Inspiring Quotes & More (2024)

Co-authored byAlessandra Contiand Luke Smith, MFA

Last Updated: May 19, 2024Fact Checked

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   Waiting for true love is better than settling. Once you settle, you’ll constantly wonder if there’s someone else out there who makes you feel the way you want to feel—happy, secure, confident, limitless. And chances are, the relationship you settled for won’t last very long, anyway.^[1]

   • Settling also isn’t fair to your partner, who deserves to find someone who can love them the way they should be loved (just like you deserve that, too).
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   Waiting for the right person lets you practice love in the meantime. You won’t magically become an ideal partner when you enter a relationship, but you can work on yourself while you wait. That way, when the right person comes along, you’ll know more about your own needs and how to care for someone else’s.

   • For example, you might read more books, talk to and make more friends, or just spend time alone to make yourself a more well-rounded person while you look for love.^[2]

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   Spend time with friends and family. When you only focus on romance, you miss out on the other connections that make life worth living.^[3] Make a new best friend by asking acquaintances about themselves or hang out with your existing friends or family to strengthen your current relationships.

   • Talk to your friends and family about your hopes when it comes to romance. They might have some valuable advice or perspectives to share.
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   Get to know more about yourself with new experiences. Find yourself before someone else finds you—that way, you’ll know who you are and what you bring to the table rather than playing catch-up when the right person shows up in your life.

   • Find your passion by asking yourself what you value and find meaningful, Try loads of different things (hobbies, careers, philosophies) to see what sticks.
   • For example, if you love art, you might practice painting or writing. Who knows? The love of your life might just be looking for a budding artist.

   See Also

   Read This If You’re Tired Of Waiting For LoveTired of Waiting For Love
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   Pursue your dreams to stop waiting for love. If you’re tired of waiting for the perfect life to find you, go out and make it! What’s something you’ve always wanted to do? Go back to school? Move to a new town? Getting some life experience under your belt boosts your confidence and makes life feel more worth living, even without romance.

   • The truth is that love won’t “complete” you—it’s just another ingredient to life that can make the rest shine a little brighter.

   EXPERT TIP

   

   John Keegan

   Dating Coach

   John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

   

   John Keegan
   Dating Coach

   It's good to invest in yourself before seeking a partner. Notice qualities you admire in others and practice honing them in your own life. Establish independence and a strong sense of who you are. Be your authentic self; this will help you attract like-minded partners who have the same shared values.

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   Nourish your body with exercise and a healthy diet. No, you definitely don’t need an hourglass figure to find true love, but taking good care of yourself shows others that you care for yourself. Dating coach and matchmaker Alessandra Conti encourages us to try “feeling like you're looking like the best version of yourself through physical activity and…physical self-care.”

   • Get some light exercise and fresh air for 30 minutes a day like walking or jogging. You’ll feel better, and your body will thank you.
   • Eat healthier by getting balanced meals with fruits, veggies, and proteins. Avoid skipping meals or falling back on fast food multiple times a week.
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   Make a list of things you cherish in your life already. Dating coach Alessandra Conti says, “Being happy in your life…sounds so basic, but it's so vital to attracting a partner.” Remind yourself of your own happiness by starting a gratitude journal where you write all the things that you’re thankful for each day.

   • Or, make a gratitude list and hang it somewhere you can see it every day.

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   Think about what you want in a partner. How are you supposed to find true love if you don’t know what you’re looking for? Dating coach John Keegan says that “you have to really look at your core values, and whoever you date, no matter what else…[should] match your values.”

   • Make a list of all the qualities you want in a partner. Are they funny? Patient? Smart? How do they make you feel?
   • You might not find someone who checks every box, but if they make you truly happy, that's what really counts.
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   Reconsider what your ideal partner is like. We all have dreams of a knight in shining armor. But your perfect partner might look nothing like how you imagine them while still being everything you want and need.^[4] Ask yourself: Are you holding your romantic options to unfair standards?

   • For example, the “average guy” doesn’t have a 6-pack or maybe even a full head of hair. That doesn’t make him a less loving partner.
   • Plenty of partners that might appear attractive aren’t a good match for you; you might be sabotaging yourself with your own standards.
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   Go on dates to help love find you. Love will come, but help it arrive sooner by opening yourself up to a relationship. Don’t hesitate to go on multiple first dates with multiple people. Expanding your dating pool expands your options and increases your chances of finding the one.^[5]

   • Hit the dating apps to see a wide range of people who are available. Don’t be afraid to message anyone you’re even slightly curious about.
   • Or, find love in the real world by hanging around bars, coffee shops, or going to singles’ events. Feel free to make the first move!
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   Pay attention to your senses to know if you’ve found the one. When you find true love, you’ll physically feel it in your body. You might feel excited with butterflies in your chest and you can’t help but smile. Or, you might feel totally at peace with your muscles relaxed. It’s a sign your heart and mind are both crying out that you’ve found the one!^[6]

   • Meditate and ground yourself. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and focus on each part of your body. Ask yourself how you feel while thinking of your partner.

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1. Read what others have said about waiting for love. Sometimes, just knowing that other people have shared your longing is enough to soothe your aching heart and find the determination to keep waiting.

   • “If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.”—Oscar Wilde
   • “You don't find love, it finds you. It's got a little bit to do with destiny, fate, and what's written in the stars.”―Anaïs Nin^[7]
   • “I’ve learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling, knowing that you’re with me, even when you’re not by my side.”―Paulo Coelho^[8]
   • “Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love.”―Mandy Hale
   • “Maybe that's what love was, finding the person who brings out the best in you and eliminates the worst.”―Diana Holquist
   • “Don't let the fear of being alone or the fear of not finding someone make you settle for less than what you deserve.”―Carrie Hope Fletcher^[9]
   • “Love is a journey and a destination―long and excruciating on the way, unexpected and ecstatic if found.”―Stewart Stafford
   • “Some of us were made to believe that you need a man, or a woman, to be happy. I say you need to know yourself and love yourself to find that elusive emotion that we call happiness.”―Hagir Elsheikh
   • “To walk the path of intentionally and consciously finding love, you need to start with the main question: Where do I want to go?”―Crista Beck
   • “In the journey of finding love I focus on loving myself first.”―Angel Moreira
   • “I'm not everyone's cup of tea...But I'm someone's.”―Dan Pearce
   • “When it comes to love and relationships, most of us fail our way to success.”―Kevin Darné^[10]
   • “As love leads the way, the steps will be made easy.”―David Scott^[11]
   • “Marrying the wrong person only denies you both a chance at your soul mate.”―Alessandra Torre^[12]

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